After Action Report #42

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[00:00:20] [SPEAKER_01] You're listening to After Action Report at savage.live

[00:00:26] [SPEAKER_00] After Action Report Welcome to After Action Report, where someone who bravely tried something new sits down with me and tells us all about it. This week, meet Jade, who gave her husband what he wanted and flipped the script on their entire relationship. Jade, welcome to the show.

[00:00:44] [SPEAKER_02] Hi, thanks for having me.

[00:00:46] [SPEAKER_00] Thanks for being had. Okay, before we get to what it is that you did, the new thing you tried you wanted to share, tell us a little bit about yourself.

[00:00:52] [SPEAKER_02] So, I'm Jade. I am 28 years old, based in England. I'm a bisexual, submissive woman, happily married for, we had our one-year anniversary last month, actually.

[00:01:04] [SPEAKER_00] Congratulations.

[00:01:06] [SPEAKER_02] And external to the marriage, I have a dominant that I see regularly.

[00:01:11] [SPEAKER_00] Awesome. So, what is the new thing that you tried? And was it with your husband, your dominant, or somebody else?

[00:01:17] [SPEAKER_02] So, the new thing that I tried was some urethral sounding with the husband.

[00:01:23] [SPEAKER_00] Were you the sounder or the soundee?

[00:01:26] [SPEAKER_02] I was the sounder.

[00:01:28] [SPEAKER_00] Oh, awesome. Now, for people out there who may not be familiar with the term, can you tell people what sounding is?

[00:01:36] [SPEAKER_02] So, sounding is an act of inserting something into someone's urethra. I believe it's originally a medical practice, if you need to fit a catheter or something like that, which is ridiculously unsexy. But it's kind of, you see it a bit on the internet, it almost feels like a forbidden fruit, because penises should be going in something, not something going in the penis.

[00:01:59] [SPEAKER_00] Yes. Sounding is a medical practice. Some people, some men people, some women people, will have scarring of the urethra or narrowing of the urethra, and sounding can help open it up. But, of course, if there's pleasure to be had, people are going to take pleasure in their bodies however they want to or can. And there are physical pleasures to sounding. You're going to hit nerve endings you can't hit any other way, including stimulating if the sound is deep enough.

[00:02:27] [SPEAKER_00] You have the interior of the prostate, which is wrapped around the urethra. And also there's the psychological element of it. Here's this thing designed for penetration, usually used for penetration, and it is the thing, and it's sounding, if it's a male being sounded, it is the thing being penetrated.

[00:02:43] [SPEAKER_02] Yes. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

[00:02:45] [SPEAKER_00] So whose idea was it? Yours? Your husband's?

[00:02:48] [SPEAKER_02] So it actually came from the husband. Even though I myself am submissive, I do tend to dominate him. But my mindset, rather than being a dominant, is more service sub. I get off on, oh, I'm doing something for someone and I'm giving them pleasure, and that makes my little sub brain happy because I'm doing a task for them. So to add more layers to this, it actually started when he was in a cuck cage during a play session.

[00:03:17] [SPEAKER_02] And I have previously experimented with using a magic wand on the cage to make him orgasm, which does work, people. For folks at home that want to commit neuron science experiments, that does work. And I had this tiny, it looks like a rich's finger, with a little bulb on the end as a sort of clit stim vibrator, very pinpoint vibrations.

[00:03:42] [SPEAKER_02] And I was playing around with that on the cage to see whereabouts I could get the best reaction from him. And suddenly, in the amount of pre-cum and bodily fluids that were around, it just popped in. And we were like, oh, oh, you okay with this? And he was like, yeah, I think I'm okay with it. He was like, can you do more? I was like, I'll try more if you're okay for it to go a bit more.

[00:04:08] [SPEAKER_02] So, just slowly started inching it in. Fucking his dick? Yeah, millimeter by millimeter. And the beautiful noises that were made were the chef's kiss on top. And I was like, okay, we're on to something here.

[00:04:24] [SPEAKER_00] So, you stumbled over this. It's not like he saw sounding in porn and was like, hey, I want a steel rod shoved into my deck. Yeah. You were doing something else and it manifested.

[00:04:37] [SPEAKER_02] Exactly, exactly. It was the most organic way of doing it because there was no sort of pre-trial to it or saying, or negotiations of, oh, I'm kind of interested in sounding. Are you? And then having to research it, it was just kind of a happy accident, as Bob Ross would say.

[00:04:55] [SPEAKER_00] Okay, so when you did a full-blown sounding, when you decided to really go for it, did you acquire sounding rods? Sounding, there are health risks involved. It will introduce bacteria into the urethra, far up into the urethra. People can develop a case of prostate titus or urinary tract infection by pushing bacteria up. You need to use sterile steel rods, sterile lube.

[00:05:21] [SPEAKER_00] Did you go and acquire those things before your first full-blown sounding experience with your husband?

[00:05:27] [SPEAKER_02] Yes. So after we played around with that little vibrator thing and we realized, oh, this works, we did go away and we bought a little starter kit. And there's loads of different ones of different sizes, lengths, some are ribbed. So we bought those and that was the most exciting package. It was like, okay, no, arrive now. Bedtime tonight, we are using these. And yeah, we are cautious of the UTIs that are at risk.

[00:05:53] [SPEAKER_02] So if I've wanted to use a rod and it's accidentally been dropped on the bed or it's got a little bit of fluff on it, it's like, no, we're not using that one. It's on the side. So I am very pinnickety about making sure that it's clean, it's safe. There's no dust or anything getting in around there because being a woman, we're more prone to UTIs. I know the pain, so I don't want to inflict that on him.

[00:06:16] [SPEAKER_00] And women are more prone to UTIs because the urethra is not nearly as long as the male urethra. And it's easier for that bacteria that can cause UTI to get into the bladder. Really sounding kind of equalizes the UTI risk for men. Maybe all men should be sounded to sensitize them to the issues of UTIs that women have to confront. So that moment that you did it for the first time, not by accident, not with the skinny little vibrator,

[00:06:43] [SPEAKER_00] but you went out and got the gear, you got the sterile lube, best practices. Describe that moment.

[00:06:50] [SPEAKER_02] So that was kind of eye-opening because I was focused just on himself and making sure that I wasn't going to hurt him because obviously still new to it and it's a whole different sensation. And I suppose it could be a bit like anal where if you go in too quick, too fast, it's going to hurt. But so just making sure everything was prepped and he was relaxed enough was the most important thing.

[00:07:13] [SPEAKER_02] But as we were doing it, I was kind of like, actually, this is really hot because I can see his dick reacting to it. I can hear him audibly reacting to it in a positive way. So I was like, oh, let me just grab my vibrator and I'll just do a bit of multitasking here real quick.

[00:07:31] [SPEAKER_00] Well, you're multitasking. Is the vibrator on him or on you at that moment?

[00:07:35] [SPEAKER_02] It was on me. So yeah, I grabbed a little clit stem and was sort of kneeling beside him. We had a nice splash black blanket down as well. Kneeling beside him, I had in my non-dominant hand the clit toy because I don't need as much control flap. My dominant was with the sounding rod. I made him hold his penis to make sure it was nice and steady. So we kind of had this weird situation going on, but it worked.

[00:08:03] [SPEAKER_02] And I managed to, yeah, we managed to both get to that point of orgasmic ineffability together. And it was so, so hot.

[00:08:11] [SPEAKER_00] So if he had a sounding rod in his dick at the point that he came, did his eyes blow out or something to come out of yours?

[00:08:17] [SPEAKER_02] No, no, no, he didn't come out. But I did have to stop myself because the urge is from my own orgasms. If I'm a squirter, so I can't squirt if I have something vaginally inserted, it just doesn't work for myself. So I had to resist the urge of, oh, he's going to come. Let's rip that sounding rod out like a Beyblade. That's not, I had to resist that urge and just kind of be like, okay, let's just stay still.

[00:08:42] [SPEAKER_02] If it's going to come out or come out, I can slowly pull it, but I need to keep some form of bodily control during my own orgasm.

[00:08:51] [SPEAKER_00] So when you first inserted the sounding rod, was he erect?

[00:08:55] [SPEAKER_02] No. Interesting. The very, very first time, because the cock cage was quite small, he can't be physically hard on it.

[00:09:04] [SPEAKER_00] Oh, no, no, no. I mean, when you went out and got the steel one, was he erect when you inserted that sound rod?

[00:09:09] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah. So in the second time, he wasn't fully erect. It was more of a semi. And even then, with the sounding rod in, it didn't look like he fully got hard. But I could hear from his moans, and I could see from how tight his balls were getting, he was getting closer and closer. And whatever the penis was doing, the penis was doing. It was having a grand time.

[00:09:33] [SPEAKER_00] One of the things I hear from people who've seen maybe a photo of a fully inserted sounding rod in a penis is they have this idea in their hands. And people will say this about shoving a steel rod into somebody's dick. And they will assume this has to be painful. If they were ever catheterized themselves in a medical situation, that can be very painful. And they think, oh, this must really hurt. This is only for masochists.

[00:09:55] [SPEAKER_00] But if you talk to people who practice sounding and enjoy sounding, what they often describe, and I have this from friends, immediate friends, not friends of friends, from friends who practice sounding, is they're hard when the steel rod goes in. And it's not about pushing it in. It's about letting it sink in, almost of its own weight. If you have a steel sounding rod, you introduce it into the dick. And then you just kind of allow the dick to kind of gravity to do its work. And it will sink into the dick.

[00:10:23] [SPEAKER_00] But most of the guys I've talked to about it say that for that to happen, they have to be hard. Because he wasn't fully hard. Did you have to apply pressure? Or did the rod sink of its own accord into his penis?

[00:10:34] [SPEAKER_02] There was a little bit of pressure. But it was no more than sort of curling your finger. It was very much a little bit of pressure, let it relax off a little bit of pressure. And then eventually, the internal bit just all relaxed, opened up. And it was like, yeah, cool and grand. And once it's sort of gotten past that initial tension, and the whole time I'm checking in and I'm watching his face like a hawk for any rinse, any inhale, anything like that. As soon as I knew, okay, we're getting towards the end of the rod now.

[00:11:04] [SPEAKER_02] He's relaxed. He's enjoying it. His penis is accepting of it. We can start moving it in and out and almost, yeah, simulate it. Yeah, fucking his dick with a sounding rod.

[00:11:14] [SPEAKER_00] So I know what made you cum. You had the vibrator.

[00:11:17] [SPEAKER_02] Yes.

[00:11:18] [SPEAKER_00] Pressed against your clit. Yeah. And labia. Did he require additional stimulation to cum? Or was just the in and out of the sounding rod enough? Did you have to in and out of the sounding rod and stroke the head of his penis a little bit? What put him at that point of orgasmic inevitability?

[00:11:34] [SPEAKER_02] So as I was moving the sounding rod in and out, he was ranking his dick at the same time. That's a very British term, I think. We are familiar with it here. Yeah. So yeah, he was ranking at the same time, but it wasn't with the normal ferocity that somebody would. It was a bit more cautious, a bit more tentative. But because of the wads that we have and where the urethra is, you could actually feel on the shaft little bumps from it.

[00:12:03] [SPEAKER_02] Which kind of, I know people get body mods and they get weird things inside their arms. It kind of felt like that. And in my brain, I was like, ooh, could I fuck this and feel in the sounding rod? But with the wads we have, it wouldn't work. And it also wouldn't be safe. So I was like, nope, scrap that idea. Not safe. But I think him feeling it in through his hands as well helped the mental side of it as well.

[00:12:25] [SPEAKER_00] Can I share a little detail from my sex life that made me feel like I was sitting, not the trifecta of Britishisms, but the quadfecta of Britishisms? Where I was once wanked in a lift on a way to a guy's flat who was a lorry driver. Oh my gosh. I got jerked off in an elevator on a way to somebody's apartment who was a truck driver. Yeah. It was many, many, many years ago in London. No sounding involved. But I was thinking about it when I left going, wow, like wanked in a lift on the way to a flat by a lorry driver.

[00:12:55] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah. And you walked on the pavement to get to his flat building.

[00:12:58] [SPEAKER_00] Yes. Yes, I did. Okay. Well, a couple, two more questions. Two more questions. Has this entered your repertoire? Have you done it again?

[00:13:05] [SPEAKER_02] Oh, we've done it so many times. So, so many times to the point where we've now upgraded our cock cage and we've, instead of it being a plastic one with just a hole in the end, we've now got a metal one that actually has a sounding rod attachment so you can really lock it in there. Awesome. Um, so that's quite cool.

[00:13:25] [SPEAKER_00] Awesome. And when you sound him and it's in the repertoire, do you still feel subby when you do that? Like you're a service top at that moment? Or does it kind of tweak some dom? I mean, every sub has a dom in them and every dom has a sub in them. Like there's a kind of yin yang. Yeah. Maybe the yin is bigger than the yang or the yang is bigger than the yin. But there is like interplay there. Yeah.

[00:13:48] [SPEAKER_00] So when you do this now, are you domier or does it still feel like service sub providing somebody who's more dominant for you the sensations that he enjoys?

[00:13:59] [SPEAKER_02] So I think the initial sounding was definitely more service sub. And I think now that I'm doing it more, I'm leaning into more of the dominant side. So I'm sort of egging him on and being like, oh yeah, you like me fucking your dick with this rod sort of thing. And like trying to get in the mental little jabs. And he's got a bit of a humiliation kink as well. So leaning in and being like, oh yeah, you can't even fuck my pussy, but I can fuck your dick. And yeah. Oh my God.

[00:14:27] [SPEAKER_00] That's so hard.

[00:14:28] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah. Yeah. So really like leaning in on that.

[00:14:33] [SPEAKER_00] And one last question. You said at the start that you married, you've been married for a year, recently had your first anniversary. Congratulations. Thank you. You also have a regular dominant. Yes. Who's a part of your life? Who came first, chicken or egg? The husband or the dom? Who have you been with longer?

[00:14:47] [SPEAKER_02] So when the husband came first, we've been together for six years now. We were a nice little COVID relationship. Yep. So husband came first and then probably two or three years into the relationship, we started opening it up by going to kink events. Then we started going more into the swing side of things. And then we found that actually I quite like having somebody regular who I can build a bond with, especially because I'm more kinky and you can't do that in the swing scene.

[00:15:12] [SPEAKER_02] If somebody brings a cane to a swing party, everybody's like horrified because it's the most terrifying thing in the world. But then you go to a kink party and somebody's got toys far worse. So yeah, and the dominant just scratches that masochistic submissive of mine, but he's been around for, it'll be a year in September.

[00:15:30] [SPEAKER_00] And your husband and your dom, have they met? Do you ever play all three together?

[00:15:35] [SPEAKER_02] Yes. Yep. They've met. We've played together. I think one of the last scenes we've had together and the dominant actually handcuffed my husband to the radiator in the same room. So that was a great power dynamic going on there.

[00:15:48] [SPEAKER_00] Oh my God. I'm sorry. That's really hot. That's just fucking hot. But everyone out there who can hear the sound of your voice right now, maybe not jealous for the exact same things. Not everybody's into sounding. It is a varsity level and niche kink together. Yes. Both. But I'm sure a lot of people are really excited to hear about your dynamic. It sounds like, lady, you have it all.

[00:16:09] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah. Yeah. I am incredibly lucky to have a husband that is as sexually adventurous as I am. And probably sometimes more so. He pushes me a little bit more and challenges the norms that I have in my mind. So yeah, very, very fortunate to have both of the men and for both of the men to also be sensible and kinky as fuck.

[00:16:33] [SPEAKER_00] And safe and reliable and trustworthy and vetted and willing to invest in the relationship that makes the kink possible and to go farther and deeper. One last question. So many last questions. One last, last, last question. In your previous relationships, you say your husband matches your freak. Like you guys are as kinky as each other and maybe he's like a little bit more kinky. In your previous relationships, did you have the burden of being the bigger freak?

[00:16:58] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah, I was constantly freak of the week in other relationships. So yeah, there was one where there was absolutely no kink, not even the fluffy handcuffs that you see everywhere. There was none of it. It was very much good old Christian sex.

[00:17:13] [SPEAKER_00] And you asked for some kink and got shut down and...

[00:17:16] [SPEAKER_02] I don't think I even asked. I think I was so scared of releasing the beast that I was just like, oh yeah, like missionary is fine. I can definitely get off with missionary. I couldn't fucking get off with missionary.

[00:17:31] [SPEAKER_00] I always think like I hear from friends who are like, who are super kinky and were with somebody and it was 100% vanilla and they were really dissatisfied. And then I'll ask them, well, did you ever ask or say? And they're like, oh no, no, no. He was vanilla. And it's like, he thought you were vanilla. There's this chance that he wasn't vanilla either. And was sitting on his hands or his tongue the same way you were.

[00:17:51] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah.

[00:17:52] [SPEAKER_00] And you denied yourself a potential Yahtzee moment by not just like laying your kink cards on the table and seeing. Like he only ever fucks me missionary. He only wants to have vanilla sex. It's like, that's all he thinks you want to have.

[00:18:03] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah. Yeah. But oh well. You know, the misadventures led me to the wonderful situation I have now. So I am grateful for not asking if previous exes were kinky.

[00:18:14] [SPEAKER_00] That I think is the right frame of mind. Jade, thank you so much for coming on the Savage Lovecast and sharing your sounding story.

[00:18:22] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah, no worries. Thank you so much.

[00:18:25] [SPEAKER_00] Thanks, Jade. Man, I love having these After Action Report conversations every week with my listeners. So if you tried something new, just has to be new to you and you want to talk to me about it, just drop us a note at Q at savage.love. And it doesn't have to be off the charts freaky. This is not a competition. It just has to be new to you. Your experience could be good, bad, meh, whatever. We still want to hear about it. Drop us an email, Q at savage.love. And you can be my next guest on After Action Report.

[00:18:55] [SPEAKER_01] After Action Report.